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Dog Cookies With Fortunes Article

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Kenya has an official government committee investigating the Y2K problem; its report is due in April 2000. ?? More than one company now makes fortune cookies for dogs. Fortunes include, "You can lead a master to the door, but you can't take him for a walk" and "You'll never meet a fire hydrant you won't like." ?? Monica Lewinsky told London's Sunday Mirror she's proud of the book Monica's Story: "I like to be able to reach up on my book shelf for one of Shakespeare's plays, and I would like to think that people will do that with this book." ?? The Media Research Center counted network news reports in the five days following Anita Hill's accusations against Clarence Thomas, versus the five days following Juanita Broaddrick's rape charge against Clinton: 67 to two.

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Top News Stories

On TV morning shows, the gap was 84 to two. ... Upset when a reporter called him a "rapist recluse," boxer Mike Tyson replied, "I'm not a recluse." ?? The Center for the Study of the States reports that 1998 saw the 50 states' tax cuts exceed their tax increases by $ billion, yet state tax revenues still grew percent over the previous year ... "Welfare reform has generated a $ billion windfall for the states," the Washington Post observes, due to "swift, steep declines in the nation's public assistance rolls." ?? Federal laws have long forced cars and trucks to be outfitted with catalytic converters to prevent smog, but the Environmental Protection Agency has discovered the converters produce nitrous oxide, an extremely potent greenhouse gas whose emissions are rising sharply. ?? Public Agenda polled high-schoolers across the nation and found three-quarters said they would learn more if teachers pushed them harder ?? Minneapolis lawyer Marshall Tanick puts Independent Counsel Ken Starr's expensive investigation in perspective: "Just think: A plaintiff's attorney in the tobacco litigation would have to work close to a week, with short lunch breaks, to earn that much." ... A new field for lawsuit-chasers: A Pennsylvania man sued God in federal court for failing (1) to return his youth and (2) to supply him with sufficient guitar-playing skills. ?? Nebraska Attorney General Don Stenberg wants his state to join 26 others that treat the killing of an unborn child by criminals--drunk drivers, rapists, a form of homicide. ?? The Forward recently reported that "Jewish community relations council leaders are significantly more liberal than the communities they are supposed to be representing on public policy matters," such as separation of church and state, affirmative action, and government size.

University of California-Santa Cruz has a course in Feminist Cyborg Fiction" including stories about a "lesbian-of-color" vampire, columnist Don Feder chuckles. ?? Median household income of Harley-Davidson motorcycle buyers: $73,600. ?? If the $2,000 IRA contribution limit had been indexed for inflation, the Wall Street Journal notes, it would be $5,350 today. ?? New bumper sticker: "Where Will You Spend Eternity ... Smoking or Nonsmoking?" ?? In 1994-95, women earned 21 percent more bachelor's degrees than men, and 23 percent more master's degrees, reports the National Center for Education Statistics. ... In 1998, 62 percent of mothers with children under three had jobs, up from 52 percent in 1988, the Bureau of Labor Statistics reports. ... A Good Housekeeping poll found 74 percent of mothers say "super mom" is history ?? A federal appeals court ruled that two Alaskan landlords may refuse to rent to unmarried couples for religious reasons. ?? Rodney King, arrested many times since his infamous 1991 beating, has been charged in recent weeks with spousal battery, child abuse, and vandalism. ?? Esquire sneers that Saving Private Ryan deserves "the Leni Riefenstahl Award for Rabid Nationalism": "Reverent of authority, contemptuous of dissent," it's "the kind of film the Germans would've made if they'd won the war." ... As Clinton began bombing Kosovo, Serb TV broadcast the movie Wag the Dog. ... Serb protesters held signs reading, "Clinton: Make Sex, Not War." ... Manik Bokchalian became a . citizen at 117. Asked if she'd "bear arms for this country," she replied, "I fought against the Turks; I will fight against anyone who comes to me." ... In fiscal '98, persons in the National Guard and the Reserves served million man-days, up from million in 1992. ... "We can have the future we deserve because we already have the President we deserve," Al Gore recently told a Buffalo crowd. ?? "Put your heart into gambling," exhorts Fitness Gaming Corp., maker of the "Pedal `n' Play" exercise-cycle and the "Money Mill" treadmill, both wired so "you can't gamble unless you're peddling and you can't peddle unless you're gambling." --SW

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